The hardest thing about putting together a ‘worst of’ list of celebrity hair cuts and styles is narrowing it down to a choice few. American celebrities are nothing more than mirror images of us. Of course, being celebrities, none of them know this. As a result, they confuse praise for permission and use their fame to get away with everything from fashion faux pas, murder, or even worse, bad celebrity hair cuts. 2010 was no exception.
As usual, folks like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the equally beautiful Randy Quaid were tumbling around the tabloids like so many cocaine-fueled cartoon characters. Others, like Megan Hauserman, Jaimee Grubbs and Heather Locklear coasted through their respective arrests with their cheap clip in hair extensions fully intact.
For a real showcase in hirsute horror, the following spectacle will walk you through the seven deadly sins of 2010 when it comes to celebrity hair cuts:
1) Never one to shy away from genre-defying hairstyles, Nikki Minaj really managed to outdo herself with this cumulonimbus catastrophe. In the past, cheap clip in hair extensions have reflected every color along the visible spectrum, but what did she have in mind when pulling this number off? Take an inverted Rorschach test, a Mississippi storm cloud and huge portion of narcissistic shamelessness, and voila!
2) Not even Milani human hair extensions could fix this apostolic abomination. On August 8th, Denver greenhorn Tim Tebow’s teammates thought it would be a good idea to force him into the Dominican Monastic order. The irony of it is that no amount of prayer is going to save the Broncos’ season.
3) Though she is ever a model of glamor and poise, even the talented widow Courtney Love is subject to the occasional slip-up. This bad celebrity hair cut happened in February in Milan. She pulled the elastic out of the waist of her sweatpants, dyed it black, and tied it around the plumage of a mutilated crow. Whoops!
4) (Literally) rounding out the infamous cast of Jersey Shore, Snooki is best known for taking everything to its scatological end. There is no one particular Snooki hairdo that out does the rest – they are all equally as astounding. If you place a rat on top of your scalp, pull your cheap clip in extensions over the top of that, and then coat it with hair spray, you can have a pomp too. You might even get on TV.
5) One way to dry your hair is to let it get sucked into the side of a blow dryer. That’s what Mena Suvari did this past summer – and to think that she tried to clean it up by following Courtney Love’s dead crow example! Ever need an excuse to buy real hair extensions? Or to stay home and cry?
6) Not usually one for modesty, Tyra Banks took the easy way out of a bad hair day with this deep-sea-fishing inspired do. No amount of hair spray, blow drying, general hair care or any other care whatsoever is involved with this moribund motif. If the net fits, wear it (over your entire face).
7) International Lady of Mystery, Lady Gaga likes to think she revels in the absurd. Sometimes she can be clever with her contraptions, and sometimes, knowing the line is thin between the two, she can just be plain stupid. Are those hair extensions real? I don’t know – is purple cotton candy real?
Everyone wants the perfect haircut, but not every haircut is perfect. Even celebrities aren’t immune to shortcomings (or shortcuttings). The moral of the 2010? Keep away from rats and crows.